i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
