i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
