he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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