Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
