Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
