So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
