Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
