My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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