i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
