I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
