It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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