she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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