Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Randomize
