his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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