She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
