capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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