So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
