He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
