Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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