Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
