well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
