god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
