Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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