im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
