Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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