I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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