we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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