i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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