it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
