I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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