i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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