i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Nicole vs. Life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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