I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
