A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
