is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
you traded sex for a burrito?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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