remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
