He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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