bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
