Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i came on her dog
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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