Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
