I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
