I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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