I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We were destined to go to rehab together
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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