I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
