pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
