Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
