Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
