Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
