Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
