Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
