This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
