If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
