You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
