the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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