Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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